I've moved out of the stage of just getting here, and I'm fairly used to it now. I was getting settled for a while and now I am, which has its own dangers and chaos that come with it. Now that things feel a little more normal compared to when I first got here it is easier to get comfortable and a little more lazy and sloppy. This is not my intent. It is what happens outside of intention and purpose.
Landing here didn't look like anything I had thought of. I had envisioned the landing stage, but the stage after the landing stage I found recently was beyond my grid. I didn't know what to expect. I am after all living one day at a time. I do know I need to find work, that is one piece of the puzzle I am actively working on.
So for about a week I found I was getting irritable and tired and had low motivation levels. I was even feeling depressed part of the time. This had gone on a few days before I realized something wasn't going as it should be. I had transitioned from Stage 1, arriving and acclimating. I didn't need more rest, I didn't need to spend more time alone. I found what my heart was craving was to move with purpose.
Yesterday, in order to remedy this I took some time out to reconnect with the purposes God has been speaking to me about over a long time. I looked at some of the desires He has put in my heart. I took a fresh look at the goals I have in various sectors of my life. And then I took my present pursuit of work and managing money well and connected it with those pieces of vision.
I knew God sent me here, but coming here doesn't suddenly cancel out all the other things God has spoken to me, and shown me over time. I am on the path. I am where He wants me now. Also I am in a season that clears the way for me to grow more and more, and to walk out the purpose He has given me. I still get to experience the delight of His promises fulfilled. Saying yes to Him does narrow the path to do His will, but He is more committed to me experiencing blessing than I am. Saying yes doesn't remove me from that. I am His son whom He loves.
Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places,
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
-Psalm 16:6
I got to climb Garcia Trail a couple more times. One of those times I climbed "the A" with my friend Sam. Sam and I live in a house with 2 other guys. He is an APU student. A couple weeks back he and I went to Redlands to the East to go visit his crazy grace friends. I may have talked about Sam already, but He and I are shaping up to be really good friends. This last summer He was in Mozambique and he had a revelation of God's grace, and the completed work of the cross. I have heard a steady stream of excited declarations of our perfection before God ect. coming out of his mouth since about 5 minutes after I met him. He grew up in NorCal. And is studying computer science. He is a lot of fun. Full of the richness of God's heart. He is also one of those people who in a very good natured sort of way will invade your personal space. He's great! I've been spending quite a bit of time around him.
I kinda had a dip in momentum there for a bit, as I have already described. Now that I have taken some time to get back in touch with who I am, why I am here, not just in California, but also here: as in on earth. And the things I am looking forward to, I really have gained quite a bit of the momentum I came here with.
God has shown me a few specific things He is taking out of my hands so I can rest, and so I am freed up to carry with Him what He has for me to take up in seasons that will soon come after this one. Looking at some of what He showed me wasn't easy. Thank you for your continuing prayers and for helping me walk through this. You declaring truth, or just saying "hi", or asking how I am doing: this gives me so much strength. Thank you for lending me your strength. Walking this out is a big adventure, and their is great joy in that, but their is also loneliness. There are many types of difficulty that come for a time in this life. I don't want to just say this for my sake, but if you know someone out on the mission field, or traveling away from their family please lend them your strength to. They need the support of friendship. It is so much easier to respond to someone than initiate, but being away from family and longstanding friends and just people I know I feel the necessity of making extra effort to stay connected.
I would really appreciate prayer for my family right now, there is quite a lot going on in it right now. Thank you.
A lot of love,
-Jordan
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